Meet A Mom: Natalie

I am a mama to two sons: a 5-year-old and a 1-and-a-half-year-old.

I always say that Stamford is a unique town that truly “has it all.” We have a hopping downtown-city feel, and we have a quiet-suburban/ “country-feel.” We have sandy beaches and water-fronts, and we have sprawling farms and woodlands. We even have busy city streets lined with plenty of brick-and-mortar shops and restaurants! Stamford is a unique place to grow up, in that way. You grow up feeling well-versed in all ways of life!

I always felt very enriched by my childhood, so to me, Stamford was the place I knew I wanted to raise my kids. It’s a place that I feel truly is a microcosm of the world-at-large. There are many diverse experiences to be had, and so many amazing, enriching things happen in this community. Plus, my family is here, and it feels like home to me.

Going to the Stamford Museum and Nature Center is a favorite for us, because my family loves being in nature and visiting the animals. (Especially when they have harvest festivals, or when the baby animals are born, in the Spring!)

It’s fall, so right now I am pretty obsessed with buying flowers and pumpkins and fresh veggies from my neighborhood farm: Eden Farms. Plus they have a little play area and fun Halloween hay mazes and decor, so the kids can run free and get some energy out! Any place that combines shopping and fresh air is a place that I want to spend time with my kids!

When my eldest son was a baby, it was having 3 spare clean “pacies” (pacifiers) on hand, with those pacifier clips that affixed them to his clothes. And plenty of bibs too–because whenever there was teething, there was always SO MUCH drool! But I have to admit, as a second-time mom, I pack nothing. Literally, nothing. I’ve got diapers and wipes and a stroller in the car, and that’s it.

My favorite mommy moments are the quiet moments. The soft and cuddly ones. When we bake or read a bedtime story. Anytime we sit under the same blanket together and just talk. Those are by far my favorite moments. But I also gush every time something sweet comes out of my eldest’s mouth, or any time my littlest one gives me a special smirk. You know–the moments that melt your heart and make all the hard times (Like the 20-minute meltdowns) worth it.

You might laugh when I say this–or you may get it completely–but my favorite thing to do when I need some “me time” is work! I tell my husband all the time that “work” is actually a therapeutic break for me. I thrive in switching gears out of “mommy-mode” for a little time each day, and putting that time toward my creative outlet. My work is my passion project, and it fuels me and it fills up my cup, because I love what I do (helping other moms!)

How do I put this lightly: It took a complete-180! In my pre-baby life, I had worked in publishing. Always a writer and editor, I was a die-hard journalist. But after giving birth, I was a changed woman. I became acutely aware of how totally-obsessed I was with birthing, and everything that follows. So I eventually followed my curiosities all the way to a new career in the birthing industry! I started out as a volunteer at a childbirth education studio, and eventually became a trained doula and a certified postpartum support specialist. Then I worked my way up to teaching there! And it was then that I realized how many women were experiencing a gap in education and support surrounding the postpartum period. It became the impetus for everything that I’ve done since.

Better Postpartum is postpartum education, for every mother. The information in the online program sets women up to enjoy better success in their postpartum lives, in the way of improved physical healing, nutrition, after-birth-recovery, hormonal health, sleep, breastfeeding and baby feeding, and more! The goal of the program is for all women to be able to have an easier, more supported experience in their lives with their newborns, and to be able to avoid (or alleviate) any of the common challenges that arise. Over the course of the 8-week program, content is delivered in quick daily videos which highlight the best-care practices recommended by leading childbirth and postpartum experts, including lactation consultants, nutritionists, baby sleep specialists, pleasure coaches, mindfulness teachers, and more.

I personally had a very challenging postpartum experience after the birth of my first son, and it changed my life forever. I became very depleted and ill, depressed and anxious, sleepless and overly-perfectionistic. I was a martyr, trying at all costs to breastfeed, to co-sleep, to never let my baby ‘cry-it-out,’ and all of this ridgidity, coming on the heels of the physicality of a 24-hour-labor/ posterior-vaginal birth– which caused me a broken-tail bone, a good deal of hemorraging, and lots of vaginal-tearing; wreaked havoc on my personal life, my social life, and my health, in a myriad of ways. I developed chronic insomnia, suffered from severe adrenal fatigue, and was a barely functional human being for over an entire year of my life. Being so sick made me realize: we MUST do better for our birthing women. We must give them the tools–the education–and the resources–they need to thrive. We can’t send women into their lives after birth so blindly. There is just so much we as women can do to prevent postpartum challenges, or experience them with much less duration or frequency, if we are informed. That is why I created Better Postpartum.

Most days, I feel pretty good about the balance. I finally, at long last, hired part-time help to watch my youngest a few days a week while my oldest is in school, which affords me plenty of time to work, and also plenty of time to be home with my kids. I still suffer from “the grind” and “mommy brain” at times–Meaning: I also work during every ‘free’ second–like during nap time, and right after putting the kids to bed. And It’s not always glamorous: I don’t always have my head on straight–sometimes I am exhausted, or I leave the house un-showered still wearing my house-slippers, or I forget to pack the ‘right thing’ in my kids lunch box. I say that to say this: I am far from perfect, and it’s a crazy hustle. But I love it, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

That “self-preservation” is not a luxury. It’s a necessity. There was nothing ever more positively impactful to my psyche, in a way that really serves me, than hearing that.